21 December 2017: The Singer of the Chalice (Reversed)

Hello again,

Today I decided to draw a Faery Oracle card asking what should I mindful of as I go about my day, and I drew a reversed card. With this particular group of cards (the Singers), a reverse card generally indicates getting in the way of one’s own happiness by blocking something positive. (This fits in with yesterday’s post about feeling resentful about doing things that are actually part of my character, whether they have been nurtured/socialized into it or are part of my inherent nature is irrelevant for the purpose of this exercise.)

This Singer holds the Chalice from which a rainbow of energies pours like the richest wine.

The guidebook points out that the intertwined energies of the Chalice have characteristics of trust, joy, patience, hope, creativity and miracles. The patience associated with the Chalice is the joyful, loving willingness to wait for a process to bring us to where we want to be. It contains trust and love and a special quality of expectant gratitude within it.

The reverse guide says:

Trust is what enables us to be open to other parts of the song of the Singer of the Chalice. Without enough trust in the process to open our hearts, we close ourselves off from the Singers and the song, decreasing the amount of all those other powers and energies that we allow to flow through us.  … When we perceive the song of this Singer to be muted, its Chalice to be dry, it is only that we need to ask ourselves, “Why not?”; then, don’t even try to answer that — just open our heart’s door.

The cynical, skeptical person in me is always looking for a reason to doubt clusters of cards like this. The way that this is just a specific form of confirmation bias.  Another part of me doesn’t care, and is a big believer of taking the wisdom where I find it, and using whatever tools there are available and admitting that part of the joy of the universe is that we don’t know how much we don’t know.

I am happy to take the wisdom and do my best to open my heart today.

I saw a post on Facebook that said that the first piece of music you hear for the day sets the tone. So I chose a trip of nostalgia and just watched: (This was part of my morning ritual when I lived in Costa Rica)

Love and an open heart,

20 December 2017: Open your Heart and the Laume

Hello old friends,

It’s been a while. My faerie cards are currently MIA, and my book got lost in the move (I think it was put in a charity box by mistake, which means my beloved dog chewed, dog-eared copy of the Faeries Oracle needed to continue its journey without me). My cards are somewhere in the chaos of my house, but I bought a new deck so that I could read the manual when I needed to. And so today, the new cards were opened up, when I needed clarification from another deck.

As a general rule, I don’t collect tarot decks. Once I discovered my Faeries Oracle deck, it fitted and so I happily passed on my old tarot deck which I loved in the store and was happy with but wasn’t really fitting to a dear friend who uses it to this day, and fits her perfectly.

But, one day, I was offered solace of an oracle reading by a lovely lady, Viviene (I think her name was) at Stones for Africa in Fourways when she overheard me have a really distressed conversation with my dad. The reading was with “The Answer is Simple” oracle cards and since then, I went if I ever encountered the deck while out and about I would purchase it, but I would not order it specifically. Not too long ago, someone posted in a Facebook group about moving overseas and selling some books and the like, and this included a copy of these cards. And so, I bought them.

Today, I decided I needed a bit of guidance and so I drew a card. The card is entitled:  “Open Your Heart”, and the guidebook says, inter alia,

To love yourself and experience all the blessings your Spirit offers, you must have an open heart. You can’t fully experience love of any sort —that of self or otherwise — if it isn’t open. … It’s especially important right now to open yourself up, because life is trying to deliver you the gift of love. Your Spirit and the Divine Source of all Life knows exactly what your core needs and is more than willing to supply that and so much more — but it can’t succeed if you are not prepared to receive the blessings it wants to rain on you.

This all sounds pretty good, except for one minor detail, at the moment I am stuck on the “How”. And so, I went and got the new Faeries Oracle deck and asked “How do do I open my heart?” To which, The Laume (she of unconditional giving and receiving) reminded me a lot of the stress that I am carrying at the moment is all linked to emotional labour and it not being given unconditionally, about it being tied up in a lot of “shoulds”. Terry Pratchett in the Tiffany Aching books talks a lot about the going around to the houses, and how it keeps you human. I actually made a note of the quote where Granny Weatherwax ends an exchange with Tiffany with the words: “Stars is easy, people is hard”.  And at the moment I am finding people hard, so I think I am reverting to my old habits of closing my heart off to those close to me. And I know it is not healthy, and it’s not even what I really want. It is an old pattern of protection, a girl’s defence when she lacked the options, opinions and knowledge of a woman. It is time to let it go. As the guidebook entry about The Laume says:

If you are pushing and pushing at something, it can often help greatly just to back off, relax about it and let the energy flow.

The guidebook goes on to talk about random acts, but in my case, I know the unconditional giving starts at home. With acknowledging that while I am performing acts of emotional labour realizing that it is part of my love language and take that back. Stop framing it in an accounting transaction. Of course, having slipped into that habit it might be difficult to step out of it. But, what I know now, that I did not know when I began this blog post is how to open my heart again.

Love and a re-opening heart,

Here is the exchange between Tiffany and Granny Weatherwax which takes place in A Hat Full of Sky:

Miss Level, and possibly Oswald, watched them go from the gate. ‘She’ll be fine with your little men [the Nac Mac Feegle] keeping her company,’ said Mistress Weatherwax as she and Tiffany turned away and took the lane through the woods.  ‘It could be the making of her, you know, being half dead.’
Tiffany was shocked. ‘How can you be so cruel?’
‘She’ll get some respect when people see her moving stuff through the air. Respect is meat and drink to a witch. Without respect, you ain’t got a thing. She doesn’t get much respect, our Miss Level. ‘
That was true. People didn’t respect Miss Level. They liked her, in an unthinking sort of way, and that was it. Mistress Weatherwax was right, and Tiffany wished she wasn’t.
‘Why did you and Miss Tick send me to her, then?’ she said.
‘Because she likes people,’said the witch, striding ahead. ‘She cares about ’em. Even the stupid, mean, dribbling ones, the mothers with the runny babies and no sense, the feckless and the silly and the fools who treat here like some kind of a servant. Now that’s what I call magic – seein’ all that, dealin’ with all that, and still goin’ on. It’s sitting up all night with some poor old man who’s leavin’ the world, taking away such pain as you can, comfortin’ their terror, seein’ ’em safely on their way … and then cleanin’ ’em up, layin’ ’em out, making ’em neat for the funeral, and helpin’ the weeping widow strip the bed and wash the sheets – which is, let me tell you, no errand for the feint hearted – and stayin’ up the next night to watch over the coffin before the funeral, and then going home and sitting down for five minutes before some shouting angry man comes bangin’ on your door ‘cos his wife’s having a difficult birth to their first child and the midwife’s at her wits’ end and then getting up and fetching your bag and going out again … We all do that, in our own way, and she does it better’n me, if I was to put my hand on my hear. That is the root and heart and soul and centre of witchcraft, that is. The soul and centre!’ Mistress Weatherwax smacked her fist into her hand, hammering out her words. ‘The … soul … and … centre!’
Echoes came back from the trees in the sudden silence. Even the grasshopppers by the side of the track had stopped sizzling.
‘ And Mrs Earwig,’ said Mistress Weatherwax, here voice sinking to a growl, ‘Mrs Earwig tells her girls it’s about cosmic balances and stars and circles and colours and wands and … and toys, nothing but toys!’ She sniffed. ‘Oh, I daresay they’re all very well as decoration, somethin’ nice to look at while you’re workin’, somethin’ for show, but the start and finish, the star and finish, is helpin’ people when life is on the edge. Even people you don’t like. Stars is easy, people is hard.’

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